Lusting Sleep

Me:  Come to bed with me, don’t play hard to get again.  I love to wrap my hands around you.

Sleep:  You slave – keep begging.

Me:  You’re my master and you own me.

Sleep:  That’s a good start but you’re not worthy of my company.  I want you to spill secrets.

Me:  You already know my secrets.

Sleep:  But your readers don’t.  Hahaha…

Me:  They know me already.

Sleep:  But not those deep, dark secrets.  Well, if you don’t want my company then I have other things to do.

Me:  You prick, I’m taking my meds.

Sleep:  No you won’t.  You need to get up early and you have a busy day.

Me:  I’ll get a couple of espressos.

Sleep:  You’ll still be groggy.  Just spill some secrets and I’ll be get in bed with you.  Just close your eyes and imagine how delicious I am.

This is the kind of crap I go through most nights.  No secrets yet… maybe another time.  But what would you like to know?


Aging Body

My body has been out of rhythm for awhile now.  I’ve had foot problems since my 20s and had to wear orthotics to address pronation problems my flat feet.   Now I’ve got some pain in one of the joints of my second toe (capsulitis).  I had it last year but it went away when I got new orthotics and new shoes.  My podiatrist suggested getting new shoes again with more cushioning in the midsole and less toe lift.  The orthotics are still in decent shape.  It can be painful walking sometimes and unlike last summer, my daily morning walks has stopped and my weight is slowly climbing back up. It’s just so frustrating.

My shoulder and thumb are slowly healing.  Once it fully heals, I can start lifting some weights.  I had an eye infection (stye) but thanks to some antibiotic eye drops, this is now going away.  I also have a bit of a stomach flu but it was mild compared to the food poisoning I picked up Singapore.   Hopefully it be gone by the weekend.

I need to find the fountain of youth.

Shouldering Some Pain

I’ve visited my chiropractor twice recently. My back was giving me some problems and I also have pain in my shoulder and thumb.  My doctor told me to get some physiotherapy.  Since I was seeing my chiropractor about my stiff back, I showed him the diagnosis from my doctor and asked if he could also help.  So my chiropractor worked on my back, shoulders and thumb for about 45 mins.

It’s always a bit awkward for me to see him.  He’s young, Chinese, incredibly good looking, muscular and always looks like he just stepped out of a fashion shoot.  I try not to tense up when he touches me.  He held my hand while he worked on my thumb which made me swoon a bit.  While he was holding my hand and making small talk, he mentioned an upcoming vacation with his girl friend.  I think this is what straight guys do to make sure there are no “misunderstandings”.

I have a date an appointment with him again this week.  On a more serious note, I hope my shoulder will heal.  I can’t figure out what I did to injure it though.





Aches and Pains

I jammed my thumb some months ago and it still hasn’t fully recovered.  I feel it when I’m trying to hold something heavy like a pot or a wok. I’ve tried pulling it on it to see if it would reseat itself but that didn’t work.  My shoulder (mostly the left shoulder) screams in pain if I pull it back.  I have no idea what I did to it.  Maybe carrying a 15 lb knapsack doesn’t help.  Then there is pain in the main joint of my second toe.  It’s mostly my left foot but my right foot has it too.  My podiatrist diagnosed it as capsulitis.  I wear sensible shoes and use a cream to help reduce the pain.  I already wear orthotics because of my flat feet.  If this gets worse then I have to get injections.  Ugh.

If you see someone with a big head, walking with a limp and his left arm dangling,  please buy him a beer.

I’m getting old.

The (too) Early Bird

One of the things that my Christmas cold messed up was my sleep pattern.  For some reason, my sleep can be vulnerable to many different variables.  I started to sleep late and wake up late.  Most days, I was getting up after 9 AM and on several days, after 10 AM.  My days felt wasted. This past week, I’ve been trying to slowly adjust my sleep and chipping away at this a half hour at a time.

I woke up on Sunday morning around 6 AM although I didn’t roll out of bed until after 7.  But it felt good and despite the very chilly weather outside, I bundled myself up and went out for a walk. But I had to take a quick nap in the afternoon which is something I don’t normally do.  Last night I went to bed around 11 PM and fell asleep quickly.  But then again, I had a big dinner at J’s place and I think it was food comatose.  I woke up refreshed and alert.  But it was just 3 AM.  I couldn’t get back to sleep and got out of bed just before 5 AM.

I’ve finished breakfast before 5:30. But now I feel like an early bird who can’t figure out what to do.  The worms haven’t woken up yet.

Oh, I’ve got to show up for jury selection this week.  I don’t know why I’m getting anxious about it.

p.s. it’s so friggin’ cold here but I saw 3 robins yesterday morning.

A Long Night

The emergency room was the busiest I’ve seen.  A steady stream of patients gathered in line for the triage nurse.  The steady sound of hoarse coughing filled the air.  Most of the seats in the waiting room were already taken. The ambulance bay door opened.  Amidst the swirl of medical staff, I could see patients inside being attended to. A paramedic wheeled a small, elderly lady into the waiting room and placed her in the line for patient registration. Her slippers stuck out from her night gown which in turn was covered with a institutional white blanket.  She looked scared and confused.  A long, dark green winter coat hung from one of the metal poles attached to her wheelchair.  It  looked several sizes too big for her.  She clutched a bag in her hands.  It took perhaps another 30 to 40 minutes before a worker from the registration desk attended to her and then wheeled her to a spot not far from where I sat.

She looked scared and confused.  Every so often she would vomit into a plastic bag. She never looked over to the entrance to see if a familiar face was coming in. She never got out a mobile phone.  She gestured to a trio nearby and a man came over.  He went back to and got a bottle of water from his bag and opened it for her. When her blanket slipped another man came by to readjust it for her.

8 hours later,  I was inside the ER keeping my sister company.   We had already told my brother to go home hours ago.  He was already fighting a cold.  I told him I would call if anything urgent came up.

My sister was waiting for the results from a second round of tests.  The first round was clean and the doctor was very optimistic. We sat with a group of about half a dozen people.  An attendant wheeled the same woman to a spot beside me and covered her with a couple of warm blankets. I thought she would fall asleep but she kept moaning.  She said to no one in particular that her pain was unbearable. She asked why was she here in the waiting area instead of the room with the bed.  I closed my eyes.  I have enough things to worry about.  After a few more minutes of taking, she started to shuffle her wheelchair to the hallway.  A nurse intercepted her. With a firm voice the woman asked why she was waiting and what was going on.  She was told that a doctor was waiting for the results of her CT scan before he could see her.  The woman muttered aloud that no one ever tells her anything.  Humbled and defeated, she let a man wheel her back to the spot beside me.

Underneath all that, I saw that she was trying to hang on to some shred of dignity.  She didn’t know why she had an IV line stuck on her arm.  She complained that part of her face was numb.  She hoped she didn’t have to stay up all night.  Someone remarked that it was already 4:30 AM.  Her bottle of water and her purse fell when she tried to adjust her blanket. I picked it up for her.

Despite the frantic environment of the ER, time doesn’t pass by quickly if you’re a patient. Eventually the doctor cleared my sister to go home. Everything was fine. The woman saw that and asked about her status.  He came back with her file and said her tests were negative and she can go.  But she needs to come back for follow up appointments.

While my sister went to get changed, the woman looked at me and asked about the IV.  I told her a nurse will take it out for her and she shouldn’t change until it’s removed.  Within minutes the nurse came by with her appointments and removed her IV.  She asked where the washroom was.  I told her I could wheel her there.  I pushed her wheelchair inside the washroom, pointed to the emergency buzzer if she needed attention and told her how to lock the door.

As my sis and I left, I told the nurse the woman was in the washroom and might need help getting out.  She thanked me for the heads up.  The sun wasn’t even out when we left the hospital.  On the sidewalk, I saw another wheelchair abandoned by the crosswalk.  The cold morning air of this new year tasted sweet.


Selfie – ugh, no…

At our job counseling sessions, they advise us to improve our LinkedIn profile by having a picture.  It increases your visibility and more people are likely to click on your profile if you have a picture.  I finally surrendered and decided to put my picture out there.  So I dragged out my broken tripod.  The handle for the centre leg broke off years ago.  I keep it around for “decoration”.  I made a lot of test shots and cringed at the results.  I wanted to do it by the window but I don’t have a good spot.

Eventually I found a spot, set up my flash, figured out how to adjust the focus without a subject, got dressed (just a shirt, tie, blazer) and took a bunch of pictures.  Finally there was one that looked okay.  There are some small shadows behind me from the flash that I couldn’t figure out how to remove.  But for a small LinkedIn picture, I don’t think people will notice.

One thing I noticed is that the pictures that I thought would work out when I checked the camera weren’t that great when I imported them to my laptop.  In the end, it was the picture which was the brightest.  I still don’t like getting my picture taken even by myself.  Selfie – not me.

On another note, thank you for the thoughts, prayers and kind wishes for my sister.  I stayed with her yesterday afternoon and for dinner.  I think it’ll be a couple of more weeks before the meds and her body stabilizes.  One lesson for us is to make sure we have a family doctor.  Her family doctor retired and she never got around to getting one.  A walk in clinic is ok but you still need a family doctor who is familiar with your history and someone you’re comfortable dealing with.  The worst time to look for a new doctor is when you’re sick.