A Silent Back

I’ve had this habit of cracking my fingers since I was a kid.  Then it gradually expanded to my toes. My mom was always annoyed and warned me about painful and swollen joints.  As a teen, I started to crack my spine.  Eventually I figured I could crack almost every joint in my body.

A few years ago, I stopped cracking my neck.  These past few days, I’ve stopped cracking my back.  The easiest way for me to crack my back is to simply lean back over my chair and with my arms behind my head, I pull it forward while pushing against the back.  I’m pretty sure this isn’t healthy for my muscles, ligaments and tendons.  But there is a satisfying release of pops that follow.

Here’s the odd thing.  When I see my chiropractor, the only joint that makes any sound is my neck.  My back only makes a wimpy pop when when it’s being adjusted.  It’s nothing like the loud pops I get at home.  I’ve mention this to my chiropractor.  He’s not sure why.  Maybe my back is so intimidated by this young, very handsome, muscular, Asian chiropractor – it’s just very quiet. Or maybe I’ve hyper extended my joints so much that it can’t crack normally.

I think I’ll have to slowly replace this back cracking with stretches.


My back seized up on Saturday morning.  I was just getting ready to head to J’s place when everything just tightened up in a knot.  I had to hold on to the counter when I brushed my teeth.   My chiropractor was fully booked that day and the earliest I could get in was today (Monday).  I managed to do some stretches to ease the pain.  I knew I had some Ibuprofen.  But it’s harder to find it when you’re in pain.  Eventually I did and quickly downed a pill.  I had another one later that day.

That was it for me that day.  Stretching, sitting, walking around in slow motion and Ibuprofen.  Yesterday was better.  I could walk around in my condo and didn’t need Ibuprofen.  What is worrying me is I have an 8 hour car trip coming up in the weekend.  It’s for a wedding so I can’t get out of it.

And to top it off, I woke up with a bit of a stiff neck today.  I can’t wait for my chiropractor  to “crack” it.  You know what’s strange?  Whenever my chiropractor manipulates my back, there’s no cracking or popping noise.  I crack my own back (I know it’s a bad habit…) and have been doing that since my teens.  I told him that and I think it has probably messed up my back by overextending it or something like that.

I watched the Anthony Bourdain special on CNN last night.  It was a bit cathartic for me.  Today, the sky is blue and the sun is flexing its muscles.  I have a ton of things to do today so I hope I can get to those.


Need A Jolt of Energy

It’s just been hard to muster enough energy and positivism these past few weeks.  I’m just not able to focus and be productive.  It’s like the dark, winter nights have taken over. Hopefully it’s just a phase that I can work through.

Early Morning

It’s 4:45 AM.  I’ve been awake for a couple of hours now.   I went to bed around midnight but a weird dream woke me up.  I don’t often remember dreams.  This time I was walking back to my house at night with some teen age kids.  I think I’m a teacher.  We’re coming back from the dock or a shoreline.  I felt something pulling on the sleeve of my hoodie.  I turn around and see my sleeve being pulled back to a gravestone.

It’s at least 100 feet away.  I pull my sleeve back and this girl shows up holding on to my sleeve.  She’s in her teens and doesn’t say anything.  I keep walking and trying to shoo her away.  I think I try to stand between her and the kid I’m walking with.  We start making menacing gestures towards each other.  That’s when I woke up.

It’s still dark outside.  I’m not sure if I want to walk around the park now.  The joggers and dog walkers aren’t out yet.  I think I’ll just slowly get ready for the day.  I know I’ll need a few cups of coffee today.

Colours at Night

The other night, something odd happened as I was about to sleep.  I turned off the light beside my bed.  The only other light is a faint orange glow from the on/off switch of a powerbar at the floor.  I closed my eyes and I saw splashes of colours moving around.  There were silhouettes of something short and worm like moving around.  I thought I was already in a half awake / half asleep dream world.  I opened my eyes and saw darkness.  I closed it and all those colours appeared again.  I repeated it several times with the same result.

Shortly afterwards, I fell asleep.  The next night, those colours appeared again but were almost bleached out.  They never showed up again.

Hopefully I’m not going crazy.

It Was a Long Night

I spent the night at the emergency room of my neighbourhood hospital.  The hospital wasn’t far from my home and while I could have walked, I decided to take a cab.  Besides it was already past midnight.  The front door of the hospital was already closed when I got there so I went into the Emergency Room.  I’ve been here a few times before so I knew what to expect.

Within minutes, they triaged me, had my EKG done, got my paperwork done and led me past the patients waiting to get in.  Some were on stretchers – their ambulance attendants waiting patiently with them.   Heart problems gets you front of the line access to the ER.

The rest of the night was uneventful as they tried to figure out what I had.  Basically my heart started to race although it didn’t go as fast when I had previous problems with it.  The staff was good to me and patiently explained what was going on.  They were hesitant to give me the same medication as before because the symptoms exactly fit what I had before.  I had a bit of time to chat with a nurse.  When he found out I was in IT, he told me his family was all in IT except for him.  I told him he was the smart one.  We chatted a bit about travel and his work.  He had an easy going manner and a good sense of humour which helped to put me at ease.  I complimented him on that.

The ER was busy.  A man was swearing loudly.  The woman beside me had a stroke.  Another patient across from the hallway asked for a bedpan.  The bed I was on was narrow.  Another guy wanted water because he was very thirsty and got angry when he couldn’t have any.  Sometime in the middle of the night, the doctors decided to simply give me a double dose of a medication I was currently taking.  It took several hours for the meds to work.  Before I left, they told me they would follow up on me.  I got out around 6AM.

The sky was still dark and the air was cool.  The 2 coffee shops on the corner were just getting busy.  I passed by a deserted park on the other side of the street.  The elderly Chinese women haven’t come out yet for their Tai Chi exercises.  A skunk wandered out from the park to the edge of the sidewalk. It kept walking in the same direction.  I kept my eye on it just in case it tried to cross the street to say hi to me.

I took a nap later in the morning.  My sleep patterns were all messed up.  I made a couple of appointments, did some chores and just took it easy for the day.   J came by for dinner. I feel fine now but I need to find out what caused this.



Lusting Sleep

Me:  Come to bed with me, don’t play hard to get again.  I love to wrap my hands around you.

Sleep:  You slave – keep begging.

Me:  You’re my master and you own me.

Sleep:  That’s a good start but you’re not worthy of my company.  I want you to spill secrets.

Me:  You already know my secrets.

Sleep:  But your readers don’t.  Hahaha…

Me:  They know me already.

Sleep:  But not those deep, dark secrets.  Well, if you don’t want my company then I have other things to do.

Me:  You prick, I’m taking my meds.

Sleep:  No you won’t.  You need to get up early and you have a busy day.

Me:  I’ll get a couple of espressos.

Sleep:  You’ll still be groggy.  Just spill some secrets and I’ll be get in bed with you.  Just close your eyes and imagine how delicious I am.

This is the kind of crap I go through most nights.  No secrets yet… maybe another time.  But what would you like to know?