Uhm, No – I Don’t Dance

I meet with a group of people from my job counseling firm every week.  We update each other on our progress and discuss issues, setbacks, good news etc…  Lately we’ve been practicing networking.  There’s one lady who is recovering from an illness and I’ve met with her separately a few times.  She does very well on her practice interviews but she feels very insecure.  She provides good advice to everyone but tells us she wishes she can follow her own advice.

But … she lavishes praise over me for spending extra time with her and credits me with helping her a lot.  She’s done this several times to our group.  To be honest, I was just there to listen and prod her here and there.  Yesterday we were working on practice networking meetings.  When she gave her feedback to our group, she told everyone we were like dance partners moving in sync.  She said she wished it had gone on longer than our 10 minute time limit because it felt so natural.  The other 2 people looked at me.  I looked at my notebook.  She kept going on about how wonderful it felt and how strong of a connection we had.  When one person asked a question about how we connected, she became like a mama bear defending “us”.

This is getting very awkward for me.


18 thoughts on “Uhm, No – I Don’t Dance

  1. Oh dear, you’re in that classic situation where her lavishing you with praise can turn sour if you try disagree or stop going out with her. Perhaps you need to find a way to slowly distance yourself if it’s becoming too awkward.

  2. I think J will have go dance with “mama bear”. 😁
    She seems a bit much. Maybe you can try bringing some distance between you and her without infuriating the bear in her too much.

  3. Matt, she feels more of a connection with you than you do for her, but it doesn’t need to be awkward unless it gets more personal. Wait it out and see. She may just really think the world of you, and wants to let everyone know how special you are.

    If she starts making demands on your time, let her know you are busy or offer another reason not to spend time with her. I’m sure she will get the hint.

  4. Eee. 😦 This would make me feel awkward, too. 😦

    Eden B gave you great advice! I was thinking some of this, too.

    If things progress, then you need to let her know either subtley or brutally honestly (but kindly) how you feel.

    I’m so late to comment, maybe it has resolved itself by now. ???

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