A Bit of Lipstick Might Help

It feels weird to feel discarded by my company.  I went from being very busy to having nothing to do. Ironically, I received a small recognition from work this week.  It came with a bit of money.   It’s not big money but every bit will help.  I use the free time to work on my resume.  I’ve done one which I can use for applying jobs internally.  The external one(s) is a mess.  Despite working on and off on it for a few months, it’s still a disaster.

My colleague said his first draft was about 5 pages.  I’m going to keep mine to 1 to 2 pages at the most.  What’s challenging is writing about myself.  I’m not one to brag about myself.  Whatever accomplishments I’ve had, I know they are the result of other people helping.

A few weeks ago, I looked at an ex colleague’s LinkedIn and couldn’t believe the bs she wrote.  I trained her and she left when it became clear she couldn’t handle the job.  But you won’t know it from looking at her LinkedIn profile.  The only fact was her job title. I found another ex colleague’s LinkedIn profile.  How the heck does he get away with writing such fiction?  He’s got an MBA now.  I have no idea if he was just lying, exaggerating or delusional about his accomplishments and responsibilities.

I know I have to brag a bit about myself and sell myself.  I like to quietly put myself in front of others, chat a bit, gain their trust and let my accomplishments do the talking.   But that’s not going to happen in today’s world.

So I’m gonna put on some lipstick, shave my legs, chest and other unsightly areas, suck in my gut and slut it up.  It’s kinda like getting ready for Pride.  Sigh.


26 thoughts on “A Bit of Lipstick Might Help

  1. I can all too well relate to the feeling of writing a fiction CV. I tried in 2014 and it didn’t land me even an interview. My learning from this to find someone to help you with that. All the best with the shaving. 🙂

  2. I think you need someone to bounce off of. You can tell them some of the accomplishments you’ve made and they can rephrase it in a way that’s still factual but sounds more sexy.

  3. Gosh what a great way to describe the process. Really hope you get help with this Matt, it is all bullshit but least you have real work experience to back yourself up and this is the edge you have I guess. All the very best that you get a great job that gives you peace.

  4. lol it is a freak show eh? I would say for you, when working on your resume and interviewing, try to focus simply on your competence and how that is a true and honest foundation from which you may be confident. And feel that way. It will show and rub off.

      • When you go to do that each time, try to focus on the end goal, and envision the company and what the position wants from you. I need to completely redo mine. I should get on it too, as things are changing. Not too excited either. Keep at it though!

  5. You’ve captured this perfectly. That last paragraph made me laugh…but, I know it’s not a fun (ny) place to be right now.
    It’s difficult…but, I think you will know what to share. And you have the experience and good work ethic to back up what you say.
    And it’s okay to be confident, honest, and share your accomplishments.
    Continued good luck and best wishes for a great job, soon!
    PS…shaving is a lot of work. Maybe you could find an employer who likes hair. ??? 😉 😛

  6. If there’s one place you MUST sell yourself and learn to show off is your resume and cover letter. No point in being humble when other people are outright lying. The thing that annoys me are people who are good at talking and selling them self but them when they get the job they know nothing or are lazy. Best of luck with the job hunt! Oh yeah and I agree with keeping it two pages max.

  7. When I read the second paragraph, I closed my eyes and said…”Mattie!” You HAVE to sell yourself a little bit. Your accomplishments are your own. You have to brag a little about them.
    I am so glad to hear that your sister is a whiz at writing resumes. I would definitely get her help.
    If you HAVE to shave, 😉 , I would suggest waxing. Faster and easier, and you will yell only once!!! 🙂 🙂
    Thank you for the amazing note and the card and I hope you received my email. ❤ ❤

  8. lol, yes! I often feel like the employees that don’t work so well often have the best linkedin profiles and resumes. Sometimes it isn’t about how hard you work but how much you can sell it 😦 best of luck!

    • You’re right. I want to convince whoever is reading it that they can trust me to contribute to their company. I know when I used to go over resumes, I spent 30 seconds at the most unless something caught my eye.

  9. lol. good to see you still able to come up with a little humour from the situation. i’m never comfortable in selling myself either. was never good at it, and probably will never be good at it. something about it just seems a little off for me. this is why i never ventured on the sales/marketing line of work. hope you able to update your resume to your satisfaction. hang in there.

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