My skills

I’ve been giving my resume many stern looks hoping it will improve on its own.  Hey, it works for parents (I think).  But I think my skills so far are:

1.  Productive procrastination:  I get so many chores done around the house while a project slowly moves along.  When the housework gets too daunting, my projects get the bulk of my attention.  I call this win-win.

2.  Efficient:  It takes a maximum of 3 cups of coffee to get me started.  Usually.  It doesn’t have to be good coffee.  It just has to meet the minimum levels of caffeine.  I take it black.  You don’t have to buy cream or sugar for me.

3.  Restful energy:   My urge to nap is very powerful especially after 2 PM.  What about the 3 cups of coffee I mentioned?  I wasn’t lying.  It gets me going.  The naps help me get to the finish line.

4.  Multi tasking:  Ah the evils of multi tasking.  I am well versed at checking my phone for my Instagram feeds, WordPress updates, news, Scrabble while on a conference call.

5.  Raising issues:  I love to raise issues to cover up my own issues.  My own issues are buried deep while the team and management struggle with the new issues I raise.

Hire me!


13 thoughts on “My skills

  1. (HA! You made me snort laugh! 😀 )
    Wow, Matt, I’d hire you in a heartbeat…but, we might not get any work done, because I possess all of these skills, too! 😉
    Maybe you should quit the work you’re doing and become a comedy writer/ or humor blogger?!
    HUGS!!! 😛

  2. You are a star that is sort of hidden. You need to let the light of your being go out into the world so people can say, “Wow, where have you been hiding? We need to hire you as of YESTERDAY!” Make your self be noticed, dear heart. Love and hugs.

  3. Reading this article makes me want to kiss coffee, because it really is a life saver sometimes – except when it keeps me up at night.

    I think this post just demonstrates you’re human, even though you work a whole heap.

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