On the Outskirts of Life

For the past couple of months, my productivity at work has declined significantly.  I just can’t seem to focus on anything at all.  I work longer hours to make up for it.  But that isn’t working.  I’ve lost a lot of interest in doing stuff.  It’s just a strange feeling.  It’s as if my mind has adopted an attitude of “I don’t care anymore.”

This is an odd feeling.  I’ve had moments like this before but it would usually just last a couple of days.  I wondered if my body is just telling me to take a break.  I did take a week “off” after my dad passed in December.  But maybe it’s just a combination of stress, grief, insomnia and day to day pressures that have gotten to me.  And I’ve picked up a cold too.  Ugh.

Maybe I need to talk to a wise man or a mystic.





24 thoughts on “On the Outskirts of Life

  1. It’s wonderful to have friends who will listen! 🙂
    Talk with a few of them and let them encourage you.
    I think what you are feeling IS a combination of all the things you listed. But, especially the grief. Taking a break and doing nothing or doing some things you enjoy always helps.

  2. i’ve gone down that route of wise men and mystics and lemme tell you – sometimes you leave them with even more questions than you started. and that’s a bad thing. you might find some peace in some kind of retreat but i think a quiet vacation or a road trip would do well for you.

    you have been through quite a lot these few months – it is inspiring how well you have kept your pace. not alot of people can do that matt. if anything, that deserves a day off! good luck man.

  3. It’s depression. 😦
    I would strongly suggest you seek mental health professionals.
    I hope you don’t have an internalized stigma about this, and, of course, seek help if you wanted to.
    It may not seem like it’s helping at first, as most good treatments are, but the effects are profound.

    Also, do not speak to people who are in cognitive behavioral techniques, those people are useless when it comes to these deep problems. Look for psychodynamic/psychoanalytic.

    I’ve done it, and it works, really.

    • I read and reread your comment several times. I feel like I’ve just been kicked in the nuts. I have no idea what psychodynamic and psychoanalytic is. I guess I should check into this. One one hand, I know depression and mental illness can happen to anyone. But there’s a part of me that keeps saying “That’s never going to happen to me.”

  4. You’ve been left a lot of helpful comments already so no point in me reiterating. I will say this about the last suggestion though. As tough as it might be to hear that suggestion, I leave it to you to decide for yourself if you need/want that type of help. I’ve been there and gone through a mental illness before and it is tough initially to accept the “hey it happened to me” but getting professional help helped me through a tough time.

  5. I think we all get stuck in a rut and sometimes we need to get away to figure out what we need or to clear our minds. Sending good wishes ur way and hope you can take what sounds like a deserved vacation soon.

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