Damn dementia

Dementia has got to be one of the most cruel diseases around.  It’s reduced my dad from a very intelligent & articulate man to one that lashes out (verbally and physically), cries and hard to manage.  It escalates at night turning bedtime into a nightmarish situation.  I don’t understand his mind.  He seems fine during the day and during the night – this other person comes out.   My sister bears the brunt of this.  I’m able to go home and wallow in guilt.

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23 thoughts on “Damn dementia

  1. I once read something that explained that people suffering from dementia are more “sane” in the morning and more demented in the afternoon/evening. I forgot the reason but that’s likely what you and your sister are seeing.

    And yes, dementia is a cruel thing.

  2. It is very sad to see the regression. But maybe try to see that it’s just the nature of old age and hopefully he lived a full life and that’s what counts. At least he raised you and your sister I presume and you are good smart empathetic people. that is a great thing to have done in its own right.

  3. I’m sorry that you are going through this. Yes, I am sorry, because it sounds scary that dementia can do that to your dad, and it must be confronting for you and your sister to see. I really hope that something happens to make your dad’s condition improve – I really hope so. Matt, I know it must be draining on you, so maybe treat yourself, a lot, during these times. It might help?

    • Unfortunately dad’s condition won’t improve – it’s just the way the disease works. I mean, life sometimes is cruel. When people already suffer an illness why does it throw another one on top of it? I went to Starbucks yesterday morning to read – it’s a treat for me just to be able to get way. My sister went to a caregivers seminar too and she got some insights.

      • It’s the way it is?! I didn’t know that.

        You make me think of my mum (and even a bit of my dad)… how I will need to cherish this time and how I might need to be prepared (money wise) but also strong for them, like you are. I know you don’t like hearing it, but I admire you and your strength.

        It’s nice to hear your sister taking on so much, as well. I remember how you said she and your dad argued, a lot.

        I’m glad Starbucks gives you me-time. I hope you get lots more of this somehow. *hugs*

  4. Sorry to hear this. I feel bad for you and your sister, and your dad. Sometimes I think it’s not that bad to just die in a big fireball in my car instead of getting old

  5. i’m sorry to read about this matt…as always, you have us here as a sounding board and hopefully, our encouragement can help you. and also, your father’s health is in my thoughts.

  6. hope writing about it helps to ease the tension in your head. i worry you will loose sleeps again form thinking too much. HUGS.

  7. Being deprived of sleep, working with underprivileged, and taking anti-depressant has made me really emotional lately.

    It makes me want to cry reading some of your posts. :-\

    I hope you are able to bounce back.
    I know…blogs are where people vent, and you probably are much hardier than this in real life…or that you put on a smiley mask.
    I don’t know.
    I don’t know anymore. The more I study psychology the more I am confused about which one is the real person sometimes.
    They are all real, but which one has the greater impact on the general well being of the person?
    Is it the internal self, or the external?

    Do you act happier in real life?

    Studies lately have been telling me that I should try to act happier.
    It’s all about fake it till it’s real. 😦

    • I have a few smiley masks that I wear from time to time. I hope you stay strong emotionally. You’ve been through a lot of changes. Some of my posts will be sad to read, you might want to avoid them if you’re feeling a bit vulnerable. Hang in there.

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