Pot

I only have one interesting story relating to pot now that it’s legal in Canada.  When I was in university, I worked at the student pub.  One night, my manager asked me to take a student to the Emergency Room at a local hospital.  The student was having a bad reaction to pot.  I kinda gave him  “it’s not my job” look.  But my manager was a good guy so I did.  I walked him into the ER and he met with the triage nurse.  Since he wasn’t bleeding out, he was asked to wait.

All the seats were taken so we stood by the window.  I figured if he was ok, I would just leave.  But he was very nervous and anxious.  He told me his heart was just pounding.  Then he asked if I could hold his hand.  I grudgingly said ok.  So we held hands.  Everyone was stared at us.  I felt a bit awkward.

I don’t remember much after that, I think he stayed overnight at the hospital.

I doubt if I’ll be smoking pot.  I don’t like the smell and I don’t even smoke regular cigarettes.  But the medical properties of cannabis looks very promising.  I would consider taking them if it helped.

 

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Woe Is Me

It’s been a rough couple of weeks.  My sleeping patterns have gone haywire again and it’s affecting my mood.  I was very late for a networking meeting last week to practice interviews.  Not only was I late, I didn’t do that well.  My partner did say that the questions I answered well very convincing.  The stock market, where most of my savings are invested in, have not been steady this past couple of weeks either.  At least my stocks are still paying dividends.  But still, I would have also liked to see some gains. I still own some stocks in my former company.  It hasn’t been doing well.  I had purchased them at a slight discount to the market through my employee stock purchase plan.

I just feel miserable these past couple of weeks.  Some days I don’t even leave the house.  I have problems with my feet which means I walk a lot less and have gained weight.  I’ll probably need new shoes, some cortisone shots, and orthotics which aren’t cheap.

Job hunting hasn’t been great.  Changing careers in this age of ATS (applicant tracking systems) is not easy.  I just have to be smarter and network even harder.  Want to know another depressing statistic?  Most hiring managers spend about 6 to 8 seconds glancing at a resume.  I could put down “male stripper” on my resume and no one would even notice.  Sigh…

What I’m going through isn’t the end of the world.  This is nothing compared to what others are going through. But the world just feels a bit dimmer for me.  I have to be careful not to let this melancholy mood take root.  Sometimes it can embrace me for a long time.

 

 

 

 

Wanted: Sleep

I finally slept around 5 AM the other night.  It lasted for 5 1/2 hours.  I managed to get through the day but it was littered with yawns.  I got home early, took some melatonin, and went to bed before midnight.  I didn’t want to take my regular sleeping meds because I have a lot to do today.

I woke up around feeling refreshed and my brain jumped out of bed before I did.  I looked at my phone and it was only 3:30.  I couldn’t get back to sleep.  But maybe this will get me back on a cycle of waking up around 6.  The past couple of weeks, I’ve been getting out of bed around 8:30 and sometimes even 9.

It’s just after 7 now and the night sky is slowly receding.  I think I’ll grab a quick walk and duck into a coffee shop.  I have to finish another job application today.  The pay is pretty low.  I applied to it a few months ago but didn’t hear back.  The company reposted it again.  I asked my contact about it and she hasn’t responded.  Oh well – just got to stay positive.

Dreams

I only remember fragments of my dreams in the morning.  But most of them vanish later in the day.  Sometimes my dreams are reruns.  They are just repeats of the similar dreams. A common one I have is the inability to run.  My legs move in slow motion as if they are in a tub of jello. Sometimes it’ll be me trying to play basketball.  No matter how many times I try, I can’t seem to figure out how to dribble and shoot the basketball properly.  Although I have to admit, I’m like that in real life.

This morning I had a slightly different dream.  I was on a business trip with many of my ex colleagues.  Except I hadn’t finished packing and was still trying to get things ready by the time I got to the airport.  I didn’t have my passport. But it was a domestic flight and I had hoped my drivers licenses was good enough.  When I looked down at my shoes, it was a battered pair of faded leather oxfords.  Somehow my bagged got checked in before I did.  When I checked in, I was told the gate was closing in 15 minutes.  The gate was at the farthest point from the check-in place.  I ran for the gates and of course my legs moved in slow motion trying to move past the hordes of people.  I woke up before reaching the gate.

I’ve read that these types of dreams signify a test of some sort I’m going through in life.  And yes, I also have regular dreams about failing an exam.

Why can’t I have normal dreams?

 

 

A couple of pics

I wished I had a better shot of the Thunderbirds.  They are the US Air Force demonstration team and are up in Toronto for the Canadian International Airshow. Today was a practice day and I saw them flying around.  I was only able to get 2 pictures.  I had to crop this one to “fill” the picture.  There was another plane off to the side.

The Canadian Snow Birds are a regular in this airshow.  I managed to get this one.  It’s not a super close up but it’s passable.

Stray Thoughts?

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the kitchen making dinner when I suddenly thought about my former neighbour.  He lived in the house right beside ours when we moved to Toronto.  I remember the first summer, my parents were sitting out in the backyard.  They just used the chairs from our kitchen.  I think my neighbour offered to bring over his lawn chairs or he just did.  The next day or next weekend, he purchased a set of lawn furniture for us.

He was a typical middle class father, proud of his job as a school principal and his family.  Throughout the years, he was a good neighbour and got along with our family.  Decades later, his wife had passed away.  Sometimes he hung out with my dad to chat or to have a few drinks.  Eventually his drinking started to affect his health and I think he suffered from dementia. His daughters moved him to a retirement home.

Then a couple of weeks ago, he just popped into my mind.  I had not thought of him for years.  I remember thinking I wonder what happened to him.  That was it.  Then a few days ago, my sister (who still lives in the house), heard that he had passed away just a couple of weeks ago.  What an odd coincidence.  Or was it?

 

 

Busy As A Bee

This photo turned out ok.  There were about a dozen where the bee was slightly out of focus or wasn’t facing me.  The wind was also blowing the flower around which didn’t help.  I don’t have a macro lens and had to crop this photo to get this effect.

Most of you have probably heard that when you find a job that you are passionate about, you won’t have to work another day.  Or it won’t feel like work.  How do you know what you are really passionate about?